1st August 2013

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A month for change

I have decided to embark on an experience. Every day this month I will be doing the following things:

1. I will be naming three things about my day that made me happy.

2. I will be making someone in my direct social network know I care about them.

3. Journal about one of my three things

4. Meditate.

All of these things are supposed to create a more positive, healthier brain. I may not do all of them here, but for today, this is the best I can do for the journal.

Today I am picking my third thing, which was a picture of Brix and me. Honestly, I am the luckiest person because I have friends like Brix. No mater what happens, no mater what we do or where we go I know he will be one of the most valued people in my life. Months can go by without seeing each other, and then we see each other (two weeks in a row no less) and all is exactly where it was left.

Perhaps even more valuable though is that we are so good at simply being around each other. There is a sense of peace…belonging even, that comes from being able to spend time. This relationship is easily one of my most fulfilling and treasured. Today was a reminder of what it is to have someone like that. Today, and many before it, are examples of what we should all hope to find in the best of friends.

If Brix reads this I am going to count it as number 2 as well.

16th May 2013

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Remember,

Nothing I can do will make a difference for long, but that should never stop me from trying.

10th March 2013

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My city

You have been so many things. I learned to be the man I am here. I poured my sorrows into the streets and learned to love under its streetlights. I fell to pieces uptown and retreated downtown to pick them up. I felt betrayal and hid from pain, I ran from death and from divorce, and accepted all of them while exploring your simple charms.

I met the best people here. I met a best friend, and a brother. I met them both early on, and both of them are why I loved you so much, and why I have a hard time leaving. I can’t thank you enough for introducing us.

It’s not you. It’s me. I haven’t out grown you, but things changed anyway. Sometimes things need to change, and it isn’t anyone’s fault, you know?

I’ll always love you. There are little parts of me I’ve left buried in the past. Every time I come back, I will see them.

You are my city. You may be small, you may be full of major social issues, you may have god awful parking, but you are mine and I will miss you.

18th January 2013

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A tropical get away

For almost a week now I have been on a vacation and I have learned something important. I am not ok with the objectification of women.

Ok I knew this before, but I guess I learned how uncomfortable it makes me. Women boiled down to “green and blue at ten oclock.” Or “Look at her rack… if only I were single/young again.” Honestly, there is nothing wrong with seeing a beautiful person and admiring that. I would say that there isn’t anything wrong with even lingering over a person who find attractive, but the boiling down of a person to one or two things, and the justification of doing so in the name of masculinity is awful.

Even women who we are speaking to get boiled down into sex objects. A cute local on the beach offers to show us a secret get away and as soon as she is out of ear shot “Id let her lead me anywhere.” “I was thinking about leaving but maybe we should stay to see if any more show up.” Never mind that we should be thankful that she took time out of her day to show us around. Never mind that she was kind enough to tell us a story about where we were, or share her experiences growing up. She had to be turned into a sexual object. A thing to be lusted after. Whats worse, when I decided not to ask her out one of the people I was with commented that he couldn’t blame me. “From up close she looked used up.” How could I want to date someone who didn’t look right?!

This is dangerous. It takes people and makes them into objects. Regardless of your intent when you announce your lust for a women’s ass or breasts you reduce them to just that. A walking pair of breasts. There is no human concern there, just lust. We stop seeing women as people and start seeing them as parts.

I’m not sure how to say it, or what else to say, but I am really tired of seeing women treated like this. People deserve to be treated and viewed as people, regardless of gender.

I am sure this is long and rambling, and not that interesting to read, but I needed to get it off my chest. I have been surrounded by it and I really can’t stand it. Its awful.

1st January 2013

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Time to make 13 my lucky number.

2nd December 2012

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Advice for the future me

Don’t blame me for not eating better.

Don’t run out of hope.

Keep exercising.

Forgive me for not giving you more to work with.

Give even older future us more to work with.

Remember the promises we made are only as good as we are at keeping them.

Promise things less.

3rd November 2012

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A note to me

Live a bit more off the cuff. You know what I mean. Speak your mind just a bit more, and you’ll be there.

Oh, and don’t fuck this up. There are no second chances.

23rd October 2012

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My mantra

Nothing lasts forever. Not particularly profound, but that doesn’t make it any less true.



"My name is Ozymandias, king of kings:
Look on my works, ye Mighty, and despair!”
Nothing beside remains. Round the decay
Of that colossal wreck, boundless and bare
The lone and level sands stretch far away.’

12th October 2012

Photoset reblogged from Community Gifs with 1,522 notes

brittaabarnes:

COMMUNITY REWATCH  → S01E17

“That was a different version of me…I think it was a vampire.”

Source: castahirimoved

10th October 2012

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Once upon a time there was a me. It was awesome.